Path to the Cross

Path to the Cross

I suppose if I am going to ask you to follow my journey, I should let you in on a little about me. What makes me, me! For people that do know me, it is no secret that my Faith comes first. But what is unknown to many, is the path I have taken to get me where I am now. This is a personal side of me, so I ask this be a judge free zone! :o)

 Based on how much I rely on my faith and how strongly I value it, you would think I grew up in the church and this has been my way of life always. Wrong. I did not grow up with God as the focal point in my life.  Uncomfortable, embarrassed, ashamed, are a few emotions that I felt growing up.  I remember those moments being around friends speaking of His word and me having no idea what they were talking about.  I knew His name, but that is it. Being really shy (I know, me shy? Things have changed!) and already intimidated by my lack of knowledge I never asked to go to church or learn. It wasn’t until I met an amazing girl that will forever be one of my best friends. It was freshman year of high school and she asked the terrifying question, “Do you want to go to church with me?!” Anyone that is new to the church, at any age, has that uncomfortable feeling when it’s their first time attending. It’s intimidating. When I built up the courage to go, I was glad I did. I remember everyone being very welcoming and cheerful and without knowing the significance it would later have on my life, I knew it felt right. I promise this is not an attempt to press any certain views on anyone, but I do believe you learn so many morals of becoming a well rounded, kind hearted person through His word.

Testimony: One common challenge you go through during your teenage years is peer pressure and that want of being “cool” and included. For those that knew me in high school, know I wasn’t the “party girl.” I preferred having sleepovers making silly videos and eating junk food than going to parties and drinking. As this does sound like the correct choice to make, I found myself wondering why I was the different one. I had no desire to drink and that didn’t make me fit in with the crowd. One night I decided to go with one my friends to a party. I wanted to know what it was like. I wanted to be a “normal” high school student. I was pumped up and dressed up super cute. I got to the party, had someone make me a drink, took one sip, and put the cup down. It just wasn’t for me. And that night I learned it was all right. It’s just fine being different.

Through out high school I continued to attend church and grow a relationship with God. My senior year of high school, my best friend that I always went with moved away. Instead of continuing on my own, I stopped going to church and lost connection with Him. I knew Him enough to reach out when I was going through tough times. I was the occasional prayer and eventually fell off the path. I can’t say I turned into this sinful horrible person, but I wasn’t living a Godly life.

Some people say there is a moment in life that makes you either start your relationship with God or find your way back. Mine started in October 2009. I was a full time student at Texas State working on my dance and education degree and dancing for the Austin Toros basketball team. Life was good and busy! I was constantly using my body and working it in over time. I was a work out junky, so being sore and having muscle cramping was the norm and did not make me think twice. I remember complaining about being unusually sore and uncomfortable during work outs and practice, but just pushed through it. It wasn’t until one morning I woke up in bed and couldn’t lift my arms off my bed. My legs were stiff and I was in complete intense pain. I couldn’t get up to get my mom so I just remember screaming to get attention. I was quickly in the car on my way to the ER. This is where I would be for the next 4 months on and off. After I checked in and did the normal check up routine and blood work, the nurse came out and told me the different possibilities this could be. The options ranged from least serious, dehydration, to most serious, a condition called Rhabdomyolysis, which we were informed could be fatal at worst case scenario. Patiently waiting, with my mind set on that I just need to drink more water, the nurse came out saying I am going to be set up in a room immediately. My heart sunk and I was scared. The doctor informed me that I had an outbreak of rhabdo and it has spread into my blood stream and liver. The next 3 months involed trips to the hospital, mulitple tests, patience, and most importantly, prayer. There were some mornings I couldn’t get out of bed because my legs wouldn’t bend at the knee. Rhabdo causes paralysis, the feeling of being paralyzed but it is not permanent. As you probably concluded, any form of physical fitness or dancing was not allowed. I had to drop 2 of my classes that semester and I had to give up my spot on the dance team. At one point, the doctor told me to consider a different career path because he wasn’t sure if my muscles would heal back properly. My liver counts got progressively worse before anything got better. With nothing else to rely on, I turned to God.  As terrifying and negative as this experience was, it brought positive into my life. It gave me a new outlook. I promised myself I would never take for granted the blessing God gave me to dance. Before this experience, there were mornings I would wake up and complain about going to class, having to practice, and days I would do everything half way. Now I know I am blessed to have this body with the ability to move, this talent that God trusted me with to share. Most importantly, this sparked the relationship with God that I needed back. I said the typical prayer “God if you  just get me through this, I promise I’ll stay with you always.” I have kept that promise.

 

Much Love and God Bless,

Lisa